So, it's official, I'm a crab. A crab with a temper. It's no wonder small children flee from my presence. Day three proved to be as close to my breaking point as I care to get...EVER!
I made a two year-old cry today. Yep, cry. There were two of them wandering the house as I was painting in the main living area. They kept running back and forth putting their grubby little hands every where. Their mothers kept reminding them that they need to stay in the room they were assigned to watch Dora the Explorer or go downstairs to play with the other kids. After what felt like the 68th warning from the parent at hand, I snapped. At the top of my lungs (or very near the top of my lungs), I barked at them (finger-pointing, arm-waving, and all) to get back in that room or go downstairs and stay there! The fair-haired one high-tailed it to the basement and then began waling at what is sure to be one of the most scarring moments of her young life. The dark-haired one just looked at me with this blank stare and then continued on her way obviously unaffected by my temper tantrum. It takes a bit more to rattle that one. I believe I sense a challenge!
It's all fun and games until Tina gets tired...
And Julie the pleasant cruise director was getting warn down. Her upbeat calming attitude exploded into "Get back to work, b*tches!"
Don't get me wrong there were plenty of opportunites for us to laugh at ourselves and one another (mostly one another).
1. Tonia decided she could mimick what she saw her husband do earlier that day. Keep in mind that he is about a foot taller than her and his arms have a wider span. She decided that she'd crawl up on the stairwell and reach across to get down a piece of blue painters tape that had been left behind. I stopped everything I was doing. There was no way I was going to miss this! As she hoisted her body up on the half-wall, the words I'd been yelling all day escaped my lips "Don't touch the walls. I just painted them!". Tammy appeared out of the bathroom to bark at Tonia to get down (she's always ruining all my fun) before she fell and knocked out her two front teeth. Then I chimed in, "Yeah, cuz if you fall and scuff my walls... After I'm done laughing, I'm going to put your two front teeth back in place and then kick them out myself." Tonia pouted and crawled down off the wall.
2. Teresa had a Mom moment - they were in the kitchen surrounded by a spread of kitchen items they had emptied out of the cupboards. The items far outnumbered more than Mom could possibly utilize in this lifetime and the next combined. Teresa, in a moment of weakness, said "I'll just lay it here for now." Oh, no! Not the forbidden phrase. She screamed in terror as she realized what she'd just said! "Quick clean something!" I offerred. "Cook something without burning it." was another tip.. These were the only ways to make certain the Mom demons would flee her very being. We all laughed, she took a deep breath, and dove back in to the pile of kitchen clutter.
In the end, I survived an entire weekend with the crazies. No one got hurt (more than psychologically – sorry, Beth) and we’re so much closer to being finished with Mom’s project (18 rolls of scotch tape, 3 dust pans, and 5 sets of silverware later).
The chaos that is my life continues on and I did my best to thwart off any momentary losses of sanity. What would a weekend be without trying to orchestrate one volleyball tournament, a home show, child care for seven small children, girl scout cookie delivery, church and Sunday school, weekly volunteer bookkeeping, all while successfully executing one Master Disaster Plan?
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