Yesterday I spent exactly two and a half hours watching #1 play a double-header in softball. Nearly 15 minutes into this outing I felt it was in my best interest to cover my fair freckled skin in SPF 50. I made my way to #1’s duffle bag and retrieved the bottle I had purchased for her just weeks before. I sprayed myself from head to toe and headed back to my seat.
Just hours later, my inability to EVENLY distribute sun screen became painfully apparent. One would think by the time one has celebrated 9 anniversaries of her 28th birthday, one would be better skilled in this area – it’s not like this was my first encounter with sun screen. Somehow I had a red strip on each of my legs, red bands on the tops of my arm, a nice red triangle where the collar of shirt lay, and a bright red nose. Seriously, it looks as if I put sun screen on my hands, rubbed my cheeks, and called it good.
It’s crazy embarrassing, but even more annoying are the people that continue to approach me with, “Oh, did you get some sun?” So, this post is for you!
Here are the things I’ve decided to use as a reply to this ridiculous question.
- Oh, no, I was smelling my burner and lingered a bit too long.
- This is what happens when your meth lab blows up.
- What?! Oh, no! Not again.
- Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.
- I was gearing up for my role as Ruldoph and the makeup stained my face.
- Huh? There’s nothing wrong with my nose.
- I’m promoting comic relief Red Nose Day.
- Dang summer colds.
- I was playing Got Your Nose with a psychotic 3 year old. She won!
- You get what you get when you make out with Strawberry Shortcake.
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