Gone Batty (Part 2)

When we pulled in to the driveway of Wyn’s Cape Cod style house you could have never guessed the turmoil going on inside. The lights let off a soft yellow glow, the front porch light was one awaiting our arrival, and it was drizzling ever-so-softly one of those summer rains.

We walked in the front door, removed our shoes, and Jack got right to work. He had grabbed a little flashlight before we left (the only tool a REAL bat-hunter needs apparently) and without a word started peering behind wall-hangings and large pieces of furniture.

Wyn frantically reenacted the entire episode that had gone on earlier. She was even scuttling around the living room with the blanket over her head and swinging things around to give Jack the full-flavor of what it was like and to ensure him that she had done everything she could before calling him. He went on about his hunt.

I sat down on the edge of the sofa to avoid getting in the way. Plus I figured this was a good seat to make a straight bee-line for the door at the first inclination that the winged rodent was still in the house.

Jack made his way through the kitchen, dining room, and the living room. He returned to ask questions like “Was the basement door open?”

He disappeared into the basement.

Wyn and I remained in the living room. I tried to calm her down, but I’m really not much help. Seriously, I would have moved out and let the bat have my home.

Jack returned and informed Wyn that he didn’t find anything. He said he looked for holes near the foundation where it could have come in from. He said there was one small hole (perhaps near the furnace), but he didn’t think it was big enough.

**FUN BAT FACT #1 – Bats can enter your homes through openings as small as a quarter.

Wyn seemed a bit surprised (and more than a little disgusted) that there was any type of opening in her basement where things could come and go as they pleased.

**FUN BAT FACT #2 – It takes Wyn less than 24 hours to fill ANY holes in her foundation after a bat attack.

Jack then asked if the bathroom or any of the bedroom doors were open at the time of “the incident”. It turns out that the only door down the hall the bat could have escaped to was Wyn’s bedroom (where her three year-old was sleeping soundly).

Jack retreated down the hall.

Wyn was all, “You don’t think it went in there with my daughter, do you?” “Seriously, how gross would it be if it was in there!”

Jack walks back into the living room. “Do you have any old towel?”

“WHAT?! Seriously?! Did you find it?!”

Wyn was horrified. I hid my head under my arms (like that would solve anything).

Jack remained calm (and a little annoyed). “Yes, I found it. Do you have an old towel?”

“WHERE IS IT?! You didn’t find it on my kid?!”

“No. It’s not on your kid. It’s behind the curtain on the window. Now, do you have an old towel?”

Wyn got up and handed him something. I’m not really sure. I think it was a towel. Or maybe she just pointed Jack in the direction of the towel. I really wasn’t paying attention as I was estimating the exact amount of time it would take me to leave my seat and make it back to the truck.

Jack retreated to the bedroom. We hear him moving things. Wyn and I look at each other with a look of “Holy CRAP!” in your eyes. Then nothing.

“What do you think is going on back there?”

“I dunno.”

More silence.

THEN, we hear this shrill quick chirping noise that seemed to last FOREVER! Wyn and I look at each other mortified and then both duck – me under my arms again, Wyn under the trusty blanket she hasn’t let out of her grips since the first sighting.

**FUN BAT FACT #3 – Bats let out that shrill chirping noise to warn other bats of the impending danger.

More shuffling noises.

More silence.

I kept my eyes locked on Wyn who had her eyes locked on the doorway behind me. Suddenly, they widened and I froze. Jack came walking in the room holding the towel and walked over to the door where he was going to release the intruder back into the wild. Apparently he thought it was going to be complete acceptable to throw open the front door and let it fly to freedom.

“WAIT! NO! Please take it over to the neighbors or over to the park. PLEASE don’t let it go in my yard.”

“Are you serious?”

“COMPLETELY! PLEASE!”

Jack looks out into the darkness that’s still drizzling. He’s still holding this live animal and trying to slip his shoes on. Keep in mind, neither Wyn nor I jump up at this point to offer him a hand. He successfully gets his shoes on and disappears into the night.

“I can’t believe it was in there with my kid. Am I a bad mom if I leave here in there and sleep out here tonight?”

Jack returns.

“Don’t worry. I walked it to the other side of the park and let it go. It flew off to the north.”

“I take back all the mean things I ever said about you. UH PICK UP THAT TOWEL AND TAKE IT WITH YOU! DON’T LEAVE IT THERE. PICK IT UP!”

“It’s just a towel. Throw it in the washing machine. It’s perfectly fine.”

“NO. You asked me for an old towel. I gave you an old towel. I don’t want it back. Throw it away or take it with you, but I don’t want it in my house!”

Jack has known Wyn long enough to know not to argue. It was also 11:30 and he just wanted to go home and go back to bed. He snatched the towel up off the floor and looked at me as if to say “Let’s go”.

“Seriously, thanks, soooo much. You really don’t know how much I appreciate this! Lance owes you BIG time.”

Jack threw the bat towel in the back of Lance’s truck and with a smirk on his face we headed home.

I don’t think Jack will EVER understand us, but at least he’s willing to humor us. Do you think he knew we were a two-for-one deal?